Name:

Address:

      City:

    State: Zip:

1. a. How did you first hear about the Smudge?
   

    b. How long have you been reading the Smudge?
   

    c. Do you enjoy reading the Smudge?
    Yes    No

2. a. What types of stories do you enjoy most in the Smudge?
    Serious     Funny     Bizarre     Inane     Pornographic

    b. What types of comics do you enjoy most in the Smudge?
    Serious     Funny     Bizarre     Inane     Sexually-Explicit

3. What is your favorite feature in the Smudge?
   

4. What size shoes do you wear?

5. Are you wearing any underwear?
    Yes    No

6. a. Do you think rat feces are disgusting?
    Yes    No

    b. Do you know any rats who think your feces are disgusting?
    Yes    No

    b. Do you think your feces are disgusting?
    Yes    No

7. a. Do you use any of the following illegal drugs?
    Marijuana     LSD     Cocaine     Amphetamines     Heroin
    Other:

    b. Do you use any of the following legal drugs?
    Alcohol     No-Doz     Tylenol     Aspirin     Ibuprofen
    Other:

8. Have you ever kissed a mongoose?
    Yes    No    Not Sure

9. a. How much money do you regularly carry on your person?
    $

    b. Where do you keep it?
    Pocket     Wallet     Purse
    Other:

10. a. Do you ever travel through dark alleys at night with this money?
    Yes    No

    b. If so, please give locations:
   

11. a. Do you ever carry any weapons on your person?
    Yes    No

    b. If so, what are they?
    Gun     Knife     Taser
    Other:

12. a. Have you ever taken any classes in self-defense?
    Yes    No

    b. Do you know any of the following fighting techniques?
    Karate     Judo     Jiu-Jitsu     Kung Fu
    Other:

13. a. If attacked on a street at night, would you willingly submit your valuables?
    Yes    No

    b. If no, how would you defend yourself?
   

14. How would you rate yourself as a fighter?
    Great    Good    Moderate    In Trouble

15. Do you cheat on your taxes?
    Yes    No

16. a. Have you ever had sex with an orangutan?
    Yes    No

      b. Has an ornagutan ever had sex with you?
    Yes    No    Not Sure

17. (For girls only)
      a. Are you single?
    Yes    No

      b. What is your idea of a fun date?
     

      c. How would you rate yourself on a scale from one to ten?         1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

      d. If, on that last question, you answerd 8 or higher, please give phone number:
     

18. (For guys only)
      a. Do you have a girlfriend?
    Yes    No

      b. What does she look like?
     

      c. How do you feel about her dating other guys?
     

19. a. Do you feel you've wasted your time reading this issue of the Smudge?
    Yes    No

      b. Given a choice, what would rather spend time doing?
    Working    Going to the movies    Drinking with friends
    Spending time with family    Reading the Smudge

20. a. Have you ever spent time doing something, then wished you hadn't?
    Yes    No

      b. If so, what was it?
     

21. Do you have big ears?
    Yes    No    Not Sure

22. Aren't you glad this is the last question in this survey?
    Yes    No

Thank you for cooperating in this survey. Please print this page out and throw it away.